I was adopted at birth in 1967. I have never sought out my birth mother and many (mainly non-adopted persons) can’t seem to understand that. So here is my view on the process.
I firmly believe that my birth mother did not give me to adoption easily. It must have been a very difficult decision, even if the decision was taken out of her hands. I can’t imagine that day in 1967 being a happy one in her life. But for me it was. This great woman (as all mothers are) gave me the precious gift of life. I am simply so grateful to her for that one great act – she owes me nothing.
When she signed the papers she understood that a door was not just closed, but the doorway was blocked up in a way that nobody would even know there was a door there once before. She did that in good faith that she could “get on” with her life. That didn’t make any easier I’m sure but it brought a deal of certainty for her. I would NEVER want to break that wall unless she was the one to remove the bricks. Should she have this power – absolutely!